I dreamed a dream in time gone by

I'm rounding out the last part of my trip home. It's at this point of the trip that I'm over the "man I just really want to get back to Utah" and I'm at the "man, I really don't want to leave" part. This is a process I go through every time I come home. It always happens after I go and see my extended family. I always get a little nostalgic and start to think about how it was growing up, when everyone was close and we all lived within 10 mins of each other. I miss those days. I was particularly close to my cousins Mary and Anna. You all have heard about Lora from previous posts, for all my loyal readers (hahaha yeah right) out there. Let me stop for a minute and tell you about the awesomely beautiful Anna and Mary. We'll start with Mary, since she's the oldest. 

My fondest memories of Mary are sleepovers at her house and drinking Dr. Pepper out of baby bottles (misguided but don't knock it until you try it). We always did ridiculous photo shoots. After torturing her little brother and several wardrobe changes later, we have some pretty rad photos that will never see the light of day. Let's just say, girls should never be allowed free reign of a camera during the awkward preteen phase of life. Then Mary got her license and we had such good times riding in her convertible BMW. Yeah, be jealous. I still can't hear a song by Aliyah or old school Jay-Z and not think of that car and Mary. Such good times. A couple of times, I almost moved in with Mary, and something always came up that prevented it from happening. I miss her all the time though. 

Then there was Anna. That's Lora's older sister for those of you who know Lora. She lived right at the bottom of my driveway and inevitably we spent endless nights staying over at each other's houses. She always came and cleaned my room when I had to get it done before we could play. I could never find anything after that. Anna is literally good at everything. Anything she tries, she will excel at it. It drove me nuts when I was younger and for a while, I always felt jealous of her in some ways because everyone always compared me to her. I felt she was this beacon of awesomeness that I could never live up to. I don't feel that way anymore. Not because she isn't still awesome at literally everything, but mostly because a few years after Anna was at college and married to someone out in Utah, and I was still living in VA, I started missing her like someone would miss an arm that was amputated. My ex husband asked me one time, what I would do if he died. Without me even answering, he said "You'd move to Utah wouldn't you? You miss Anna that much, don't you?" (That wasn't verbatim but that was basically what he said. Not even I can remember exact wording after this long) He was right though. I did move to Utah, and she moved here not too long after. Haha, awesome. 

When you look back on your childhood, it's easy to long for the days when times were simple and the only worries we had were which outfit to wear for the next photo shoot, or how we were going to get the motorcycles home when they broke down. Now it's, how I'm going to pay the rent and pay for tuition this semester? What am I going to do with the rest of my life? Now we make decisions that affect the rest of our lives, not just the rest of the day. That gets in the way sometimes. It gets in the way of spending time with the people you love. I never seem to have enough time to see everyone that I want to. I never am able to express to the people around me how much they mean to me. If I could write a blog about each one of my cousins, I would. I mean, I guess I could, but ain't nobody got time for that. Each one of them has impacted my life in some way, whether they know it or not and I hope they all know how much I love them.

Mary and Anna, this one is dedicated to you two and I hope you know how much the two of you shaped my life. I miss you both daily and think about you often. I found a few gems while I was home and I think we should recreate some of these very soon. Love you both.

Anna, Mary, and I with our Grandma and Grandaddy

Anna, Mary, and I at my house

Disclaimer: Sorry for the blurriness, I literally took a picture of a picture because I'm super high-tech and cool like that. Also, was there a predestined order we always sat in? Anna, recognize that face? I'm pretty sure that's one of your daughter's faces. ;)

Anti-feminism Feminism

So all day I've seen various different people on my Facebook liking various different posts on the wall of "Wear Pants to Church". I thought about weighing in on the wall but realized, I was not going to get anywhere with those people, and seeing some of the feeds, people were actually quite disrespectful. I think fighting and arguing over something like that is exactly what the Church would not want to have happen. So, I decided to write a blog post about it. Since it's been forever since I posted, it was probably about time anyway. Also, I'm further procrastinating writing my last final. Winning!

Here's my take on the whole feminist push going on within the Church right now. First of all, I get it. We women are powerful creatures that can do most anything a man can do. I've done things my whole life that were typically considered "men's". I rode dirtbikes growing up. I can tell you what most any car is and what model it is. I was a volunteer firefighter. I can tell you what engine is in any of the various makes of diesel trucks. I don't sew, I don't knit, and I definitely don't scrapbook. At one point, I even looked into joining the Navy. Does this make me any less of a woman? Absolutely not. Does that mean that I don't appreciate a guy being a guy? Nope sure doesn't. I disagree with policy in intramural sports that say that the woman's points count twice where as a man's only counts once. I fully believe that if a girl wants to play with the boys, she better be able to compete with the boys. If she can't, she shouldn't feel oppressed or discriminated against because she is not allowed to do something. There are inherent things that men are better at then women. That's ok. Guess what. There are TONS of things that women are better at then men. It's biology people. We are different. Our bodies are put together different, we have different parts, our brains even function differently. This is a good thing. Ancient Native American traditions, ancient Chinese traditions, and creation stories focus on the duality of everything. Not to compete with each other but to compliment each other. Why we can't accept that there are differences and that it is not a bad thing is beyond me.

You know who oppresses women these days? Women. We look down on each other for wanting to be "just a mother". Since when did this become a derogatory thing? Since when did this become a concept that made an entire religion wrong and oppressive because they celebrate this God given right to create life and raise the next generation? When you are dead and gone, chances are, no one is going to remember what your occupation was. They aren't going to remember what your income was the year you turned 35. What people will remember, and what will live on for generations, is the lessons you teach them as a mother. The values you instill in a child that they then teach to their children, and their children's children. This is greatness my friends.

If you choose not to have children, great, that's your prerogative. I won't judge you for that, or think you're some psycho feminist that needs to be tranquilized. However, don't judge a Church that does nothing but celebrate the role women play and have always played in the world. They created one of the first ever women's organizations. From the time of Joseph Smith, where he revered his wife so much, as to go to the Lord for inspiration for her time and time again. Shoot, because she complained about chewing tobacco, we now have the Word of Wisdom. Women have always played and will continue to play an integral role in this Church. I've never felt that we don't get enough "air time" at Conference. Shoot, we have our own conferences. There isn't a young men's broadcast, but there is a young woman's broadcast. You don't see the Young Men all up in arms about that now do you? Anyone ever been to Time Out for Women? Awesomeness just for us ladies. I've even heard Church leaders say that it is the job of the fathers to take the children outside during sacrament when they are disruptive. So tell me again, how are we oppressed in our religion?

I have never felt anything but exactly what the Church teaches that I am. A daughter of my Heavenly Father who he loves me very much. That doesn't mean he loves his sons any less. A love for one, does not take away a love for another, just as my feminine attributes do not take away from my male counterparts' in any way. We have a divine purpose as women, we don't need the priesthood to fulfill our divine roles. The men do. Why begrudge them this gift when we have so many of our own? We simply sound like a bunch of spoiled brats that want everything that someone else has, as well as what is given to us.

If you want to wear pants to church on Sunday, more power to you. I have no idea what that is doing for your cause. All I know is, I base what I wear to church to take the sacrament as what I would wear to the temple. After all, the Sacrament is a sacred ordinance and should be treated with the same respect as the temple. The Lord has asked that I wear a skirt, I'll wear a skirt. You can argue that is asked of me by the Church and not the Lord, but I argue that it is one in the same. I'll continue to wear a skirt none the less. I understand why I'm going to church on Sunday and it has nothing to do with the people that I find there. It has everything to do with the covenants I have made with my Heavenly Father. I'll answer to him. He created me so that I could do all things through him. He's given me the type of strength that I've only ever seen in women. For that, I'm grateful. I also am grateful for the faithful men that he has placed in my life that hold the Priesthood and have therefore been able to bless my life. In that, we are a partnership, and that is His plan.