Front porch sitting, downtown, and bare minerals

This is what redneck mouse hunting looks like. When they die and fall in between the drywall, that's a problem. Especially when it's in your food storage. 

How can I resist going downtown and dancing with my good friends that I haven't seen in a year? Love this boy.

Don't be jealous of how good looking me and my family are. This is what it looks like when I haven't been home in a while and we watch a movie. What can I say? My mama loves me. 

Why deny it? He's the cutest thing you've ever seen.

Coming home is always weird. It's always a reminder of the different facets of my life but also of the different parts of me. Sometimes I wonder if these different facets will ever mesh together. Sometimes, I get so caught up in the life that I have in Utah, that I forget what it's like to be home. I have these two visions of my life and sometimes they don't always coincide with each other. How do you reconcile the desire to live in some big city somewhere, walk to work (or take a subway), have an incredibly amazing social life, with just as strong a desire to live out in the country. Living the simple life with a few kids, surrounded by an abundance of family. Surrounded by 80 acres of beautiful landscape, talking life concepts with the people I love the most, suddenly what brand of jeans I'm wearing doesn't seem all that important anymore. I was talking to my cousin's wife about the difference between the two worlds and she says coming home, she just feels like she can breathe. I guess that's a good description. What I can't figure out, is which one makes it easier to breathe in anymore. I used to think being home was easier than being out in the real world. Who knows anymore. All I know is, there's still a part of me that wants to live the simple life. I want to can vegetables in the summer, take hours out of the day to just sit on the front porch and watch the family grow. I don't want to care about the brand of clothes I'm wearing. I don't want to constantly be worrying that what I'm wearing is not as good as the girl that walks in right behind me. I want to go ride a horse whenever I feel like it. Or spend an entire afternoon tearing up the landscape with a dirtbike, or 4-wheeler. I guess one could have both. I guess the real issue is, do I want to come home anymore or not. There's a city girl in me somewhere, who likes to get to a grocery store after a two minute drive, however, there is also a country girl who's fine chopping wood, getting dirty, and talking about destroying cars with the best of them. That's home to me. I'm proud of my redneck ways. I'm no fashionista. Probably never will be. Mostly because deep down inside of me I know, cashmere scarves and bare mineral make-up are not going to help me if I get my daddy's truck stuck in the mud after we take it off roading. (Metaphorically speaking of course, I do not have a death wish, 'Ole Carl would kill me for sure.)

My crazy so called life

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how glorious my life really is. The other day my roommates and I were just sitting around the apartment being bored. After spending almost a good hour laughing hysterically watching Ellen videos and various other activities that refined young ladies never admit to, we decided that the best way to end the night was to dress up as the Spice Girls. So we did. And we made videos. Several of them. I cannot, for obvious reasons (people would want us to do a movie or video or at least celebrity appearances) show the entirety of our shenanigans to the general public. Here's a little glimpse into our fabulous life and our craziness. I stole this video from my roommate Erin, so it is also a little snack of her life as well. Make sure you watch until the very end, that's where the Spice Girls make their appearance. Enjoy kiddos.

Favorite things

I've been thinking about my favorite things a lot lately. I'm not really sure why. I guess more self reflection and getting to know myself, or some pop psychological crap like that. So here's a tentative list of my favorite things.

-laughing until you cry (doesn't happen very often but when it does it's magical)
-people who can make me laugh until I cry (this is why I love my roomies)
-waterfalls (don't know why but I love them, with all my heart)
-children laughing (the kind where they get all hysterical and can't control it)
-avocados (anything with avocado on it, i'm gonna love it)
-yamaha (yeah get over it)
-sunroofs (this was the one feature that I refused to budge on when I was car shopping, I'm a brat)
-chocolate ice cream (it will be the death of me, but what a way to go)
-extended family (the ones that help raise you, even if they are younger)
-jet skis (these are a must have later in life)
-water skiing (so much better than snow skiing)
-camping on a lake (with the whole fam preferably)
-hole in the wall restaurants (the kind that are locally owned and you wouldn't know about unless you live       there but they always serve the best food and always know your name)
-downtowns (for some reason, I love to explore little downtown areas and go in all the shops and meet all the people in the area, so refreshing)
-playing until your body hurts (I love going and going to the point where you are just exhausted)
-summer nights in the country (where you can see all the stars, hear all the bugs, it just feels peaceful)
-my dog (Dakota, who I miss sooo much)
-motorcycles (of all varieties, they just make me feel at home on two wheels)
-laying on the couch with my mom (something so comforting about climbing on your mom's lap, even when you are bigger than her and she was clearly there first)
-singing (I don't do it nearly enough, probably because my mom isn't here to push me, but I love it, so so much)
-basketball (just love it)
-Appalachian mountains (there is something so majestic and beautiful about the "mountains" I grew up in)
-blue ridge parkway (driving up there on a sunday afternoon, with no one else and just contemplating life)
-visiting temples I've never been in before (it always reminds me of how great they are)

I think that's a pretty good list so far. I just had to get some of those down on metaphorical paper.

Introducing Ashley

So, as with a lot of my blog posts, this whole thing started with a conversation with my roommate. We were discussing the possibility of knowing different people from before we came to this earth. Interesting concept. We're super deep like that. It is impossible to tell if we did or if we didn't. However, I have one friend who we've both discussed we think we knew each other from before. That would be my lovely friend Ashley. We've known each other since we were real little. Primary days we're talking here. We were friends all through high school and every time we talk it's like no time has passed at all. She was born in Canada and has since then moved back up there. Unfortunately, she needs to find a man to get married to so she can move back. Any takers?

Either way, that's neither here nor there. Let me tell you a little bit about Ashley and I. She's one of those friends who when you are together you have more confidence. Of course, confidence can also be disguised as ridiculousness. We have had some crazy adventures. She came to me our junior year of high school and asked if I wanted to join the volunteer fire department with her. 180 hours of classroom and hands on time later and we were certified fire fighters. It was hard, but it was a total blast. You can just imagine what went through the minds of the other fire fighters when a fire truck pulled up and two teenaged girls jumped out. I think at one point someone even made the comment 'who brought the cheerleading squad?' My cousin accused us of joining the fire department just to date boys. While that wasn't true, we certainly did make our way through the different stations. We also had this irrational crush on one of our instructors, who was as redneck as they come. He had a huge mustache that took over most of his face. Something about the way he smoked his cigarettes was super sexy, like our very own Marlboro man. Ashley, thought he was particularly sexy. I was more focused on a different college boy from the same station. We were pretty much the class favorites. Until Ashley melted Marlboro man's helmet in a controlled burn one day. It's hard to melt leather but she managed to do it. Impressive right? When it came to dealing with all these guys we had to work with, we found flirtation worked best. We could get them to do anything just by batting our eyes a little. It worked, and it worked well.

When it came to guys, I think between Ashley and I, we dated everyone in the stake. We also had quite the little sisterhood of some guys that we both dated. Awkward. Our adventures weren't limited to just guys though. We've been on road trips, school trips, EFY, youth conferences, girls camps, stalking trips, and even snuck out of the house together. Stalking you say? Yeah, we honed the skill long before Facebook came along. There were just times when you wanted to run into that particular boy you liked and you just happened to know where he hung out. Is that so wrong? We didn't think so. You name it, we've been through it together. Her parents were like my second parents. Her mom even slapped me once. I came over to her house and Ashley had told me to just come in the back door. Well apparently she hadn't told her mom I was coming. I walked in, scared her mom, and got slapped right in the face. It's funny now, and it was actually hilarious then.  

I haven't seen her in over four years. It has seemed like forever. We even both made it home for Christmas last year, but because of the weather, we never could make it to see each other. It was way sad! This year, we'll finally both be home at the same time again. Come hell or high water, you better believe we'll see each other. I cannot wait to see her! Skype just isn't the same and since we live in different countries, it's been way too long. I know that it will be as if we've been hanging out these past four years without a break. That's my friend Ashley and I in a nut shell. Sometimes I wish I could combine everyone in my life so they all could love each other as much as I do. But alas, I cannot. So Ash, here's to you and here's to us. Let's go to Macados and live it up 'Noke style!

Mr. Right

So, I've been feeling like blogging a lot lately. I've had a lot to say apparently. I have also been asked a lot what my ideal, perfect guy looks like/what I'm looking for in a guy. I don't normally make these lists because I think they limit you in a lot of ways. Sometimes, it takes a while of getting to know someone before you realize their value and how much you actually are attracted to them. At least that's the theory right? Well without further adieu allow me to introduce you all to Mr. Right (for me).

I think confidence is the sexiest thing in the world. You could be a solid 6 in the looks department, but you show up with some confidence and personality and I'm going to automatically bump you up to an 8, maybe even a 9. When someone can own a room, just by their presence and charisma.......nothing sexier. I like to describe this as social confidence. You don't necessarily need to be the socialite of the year. In fact, that can get overwhelming. No one is trying to win a popularity contest here. But, if I take you home to meet the fam, it is crucial to know you can hold your own. There are a lot of strong personalities in my family and it's easy to get overlooked. No wallflowers that won't interact. I need someone that will be comfortable shooting the breeze with my cousins, aunts, and uncles about heavens knows what and that won't resent the fact that strangers are talking to you.

I'm done babysitting. I need someone who knows what they believe and sticks to it because that's what they want to do. I am all about being with someone who makes you a better person. I mean that's the point of the plan of happiness and eternal marriage right? However, that in no way means that I want to carry the spiritual burden for the rest of my life. I need someone who I can trust to follow his beliefs and morals without my pushing and prodding all the time. Also, honor your priesthood. I didn't grow up with the Priesthood in my home and so that is super important to me. I need to know that when I ask you for a blessing for me or our children, you'll be there to give it. Worthy and ready. This might sound wrong but guys who honor their priesthood and use it without hesitation are so attractive. Something about it.......yeah.

Looks cannot be the most important thing in the world to you. I know this is hard. Let's face it, you guys are visually stimulated. However, one day, I'm going to have had a few kids and I'm not going to look 21 anymore. Not that I do now......I need to know, that you aren't going to take off just because the going gets tough in the looks department. This in no way means I plan on "letting myself go" or becoming some grotesque slob. I just need to know that you will be around if let's say I get paralyzed or burned, or whatever. I need to know that you can look beyond the physical to the person that is inside.

I need someone who can stimulate me intellectually and will let me do the same for them. I don't want someone who I feel I can outwit. It's kind of a turn off for me. My family is sarcastic and all pretty quick witted. You gotta keep up. I love it when I can banter back and forth and a guy doesn't get upset but can dish out just as much as he can take. I'm not talking full blown arguments nor do I think you should be disrespectful of your significant other. Just, the mind is a terrible thing to waste, so you gotta be able to keep up. Also, I don't want someone who is intimidated by my obvious intelligence, hahaha I kid, I kid. But for reals, don't put me down because you fear I'm just as smart as you.

Sense of humor. I love to laugh. I need someone who I can laugh with. I need someone who can make me laugh. I love random humor found in every day life. Life is too short to always be uptight about it. If something happens embarrassing, let's laugh about it. Don't be overly sensitive.

You gotta love sports. Why, I'm not sure. I have this ideal image of my life and it consists of Saturday football games, I'm making all the food and we have a ton of friends over to watch the game. I want to be die hard fans and love the team together. I think this comes from my need for a man's man. I promise to keep the house stocked with chips and dips, bbq, cold dr. peppers, and whatever else you want, if you promise to always have the game on and be cheering super loud.

The man's man is so important I've realized. I'm not a super girly girl. If I feel like in some situations I'm more of a man than you are, we have a problem. I need someone who is comfortable enough to understand I'm just as capable in a lot of areas of life as they are, but also that wants and needs to feel like they are taking care of me. I love feeling like someone cares enough to do the little things that show you care.

Affection......can we talk about how much I love this. I'm not some huge PDA fan, but I don't mind holding hands in public, or the occasional kiss in public. My favorite part of being with someone is having access to kissing them whenever I want. I love just being grabbed and kissed, so feel free. Also, if we're watching a movie, please cuddle with me. I love it.

You have to be playful. There is something about wrestling around that just does it for me. I go a little nuts about it. Maybe it's the whole, kind of like being man-handled a bit thing, But let's be honest, I like to feel like a woman and so the fact that you can hold me down and there's nothing I can do about it, but you wouldn't do it for real because you are a gentleman thing is totally hot. Work it.

Gotta be open to new things and easy-going. One of the biggest turn-offs for me is temper. If you are quick to anger, forget it. We're done. If it takes a lot to get you angry and then you don't like to show it in front of me, I will respect you so much more. You're a big man, you're scary when you're angry. Keep that in mind.

I think that about sums up Mr. Right. There's more, but I'm tired and who knows what will come out of my mouth/fingers at this hour.

Roomies4Life!

So, coming back into the single world was a scary experience for me. One of my greatest fears was living with a bunch of strangers. I had lived in the dorms my freshmen year, and then with one of my cousins for a very brief time, but that was the extent of my experience living with females that weren't related. I was worried about stupid drama that could come about. What if I hated them and hating being at home. What if it turned out be not be a good situation. I had all these fears coming out here and living with girls. Well those are very real fears that some people have to deal with. Fortunately, I have had the best luck in the world with my roommates. I have literally lived with the best of the best. Let me take you on a journey through my life with these wonderful ladies.

101 - Caitlin and Nicole asked me to live with them...ok begged me to live with them because they had previously lived with a foreign roommate who loved incense and constantly smelled the place up. Their only request was that I wasn't smelly. Winner! I loved living with them. One Sunday we were all at home,  Caitlin was cooking, Nicole was sewing, and I was reading the Ensign. Caitlin, I think it was, looked around and said "oh my gosh, we're the relief society!" This describes us perfectly. Not really, haha. It was such a good feeling in that apartment. Caitlin then got engaged, and I moved out to live with.......

118 -  Lora! Let's be honest. I love this girl, with all of my heart. Not only because she's related, but she is just one of the sweetest, smartest, funniest girls I know. She had gotten engaged right before I moved in with her and so I got to live with her until she got married to the fabulous Bryce Romney. It was so fun coming home to her all the time. It felt like being home right here in Provo. I love that she's here still. I would never have moved here without her and so I was so blessed to get the chance to live with her for a while and get that much closer to her. Getting to spend that time with her truly was a riot. She is and always will be one of my best friends. I just can't describe to you enough how much I love her!

Then Justine moved in with us. I think everyone should have their own personal Auzzie. She is so fun to come home to. She will always ask how your day was. She also throws the cutest, most Martha Stewarty parties this hemisphere has ever seen. It's so cute how meticulous she is about them. She's definitely a worrier but it pays off well. Nicole also moved in with us. She couldn't resist this. We had bonded over late night food runs and movies. It was inevitable. Our best friends were both leaving us to marry great guys so all we had were each other. :) She had threatened to move complexes but when it came down to it, she couldn't leave us. Good thing, since she met her Husband here that year....more on that later. Justine had to leave us to do an internship in New York so enter Shelby.

What an energy this lady has! I love living with Shelby. She's always up for anything and everything. You never know when she'll show up at your work and insist you go skydiving with her. Or moon you when you're least expecting it. She's hilarious and brings such laughter to any place. I've seen this girl go through some hard times and her perseverance never cease to amaze me. I've watched her grow and develop into an amazing person over the time I've known her and I'm so grateful that she moved in with us.

Justine moved back for a while and Nicole moved out to save money to marry a fantastic guy that makes her so happy.

Enter Erin. We didn't know Erin that well and so it was different for all of us who had known each other. Erin could not have fit in any better. She is leaving on a mission in January and we are truly going to miss her terribly. Justine moved away again so now it's just Shelby, Erin, and I. We miss all the girls that have lived with us in the past. They all moved away because they were moving on though. I could not be happier for them and could not be happier with the two roommates that I have now. I love being home. Most nights I'm 100% content to sit here hanging out with them. I love it when we're all home. These two fantastic ladies bring such a wonderful spirit to our home and never is there a dull moment. I came home and these two were dressed up ready to go to the temple. What great examples! It's a Wednesday night and they could be doing anything else but they are at the temple. See why I love them! They aren't afraid to let their hair down either. I wish everyone could just experience one hour in our apartment and experience the fantastic time we have. We're pretty amazing.

I have a theory that making plans to live with me, you'll either get married, go on a mission, or land a fantastic job. I guess I'm a good luck charm. Any takers for when Erin moves out? How did I get so lucky?

Custom Made Life

Clearly, I've gone through some self-reflection lately. Sometimes that can get dangerous but other times it can be a great learning tool. I bought this book recently by none other than the fabulously amazing Sheri Dew entitled God Wants a Powerful People. I hadn't even gotten through the introduction, which is about a page long, when a very important truth hit me like a ton of bricks. In it she says "He (talking about the Holy Ghost) will reveal and translate truths in such a way that you can hear them, understand them, and apply them". I love this so much. Sometimes, I tend to forget just how well my Savior knows me personally. I also forget how custom made to me my trials, strengths, weaknesses, and my communications with him are. I got to thinking about what a great blessing, that not only the Lord but also the Holy Ghost is. How well he knows me. That he knows and cares enough to speak to me in such a way that I understand. I do not learn the same way someone else learns, and He takes that into account. It is no wonder that we are constantly urged not to judge ourselves based on other people's standards because they could not do what we do. They have the trials they have for the purpose of their life. I have had some pretty rough trials in my life and I now know what I am capable of handling. I know I'm a very strong person and sometimes I'm afraid of just what I am capable of. I always think it couldn't possibly get any worse. Invariably, it can and it will. However, just as much as the Lord is aware of what trials we need, he is also acutely aware of what succoring we will need to get us through these same trials. It is through these rough times that I have felt his presence in a very real way and have discovered that his love is all encompassing and knows no bounds. He knows exactly what I need in a moment of weakness and knows exactly what I need to comfort me in that tender time. I am so grateful for my Savior and for the Gospel and the blessings and assurance that it is in my life. I have lived as though I didn't know it was true and it was the most difficult climb back I have ever had to make. Some days, I feel so overwhelmed that the enduring to the end part seems like the greatest trial of all. Those are the days, I turn it over to the Lord and just let him know, I can't do it anymore. It seems like on my knees, confessing to him that I'm finished, that one more trial would surely break me, that is when he comforts me and I know that it's not over until I'm by his side. I have great faith that the Lord is preparing me for something. I'm not sure what it is and I'm not sure what else he wants me to do or go through to get there. But, I'll do it. I know I can do it. I need to learn to trust in the Lord and know that he does know me personally. He uses the Holy Ghost to teach me the things he wants me to know. For that I am grateful.

I hope this doesn't sound preachy. I just wanted to get this all down on........cyber paper?

Bucket List

So after talking to a friend recently I have decided that my own inactivity is a problem. Sometimes I get so caught up in the things that I'm not doing and the things that I want to do that I forget to actually go out and do them. I know that sounds weird but it's true. I think that's the case with a lot of things in life. I think that's why Pres. Uchtdorf addressed not waiting around for our golden tickets at women's conference. How often do we do just that? Do we sit around waiting on someday to come and hopefully we will magically be doing the things we want to be doing. Someday we will be the person we want to become. Well, I've decided no more waiting. Sometimes I miss out and forget to enjoy the amazing life that I have now because I'm waiting for this amazing life that I'm going to have later. No one is going to get me there but me and it's not going to happen unless I start having it now. I have an amazing life now. I have awesome friends who support me and challenge me. I have a good job. I'm doing really well in school and have a lot of potential. So my life didn't start or end up the way I thought it would or the way I wanted it to. So what. My life is mine to make of it what I will. I'm responsible for no one but myself. How daunting of a task! Or so I used to think. I realize now how easy it can be. I just need to let myself do the things I want to do. Work hard to get to the point where I can do it. That's my number one goal. However, along the way there are some things I want to do before I die. Introducing my bucket list. This is something that I mentally list very often. I need it to be more concrete. I need to be accountable to the cyber masses. So here goes kids.

1. Eat at an outside cafe in Europe
2. Scuba dive the blue hole in Belize
3. Hike to Machu Picchu
4. Read outside in the rain
5. Kiss in the rain
6. Visit Petra
7. Spend an entire week soaking up the sun in Santorini Greece
8. Hike Havasupai
9. Explore the Redwood Forest in California
10. Hold a monkey
11. Be there to watch a niece or nephew be born (kinda gross I know)
12. Buy the person's food behind me in line at a drive-thru
13. Pay for someone else to go on a mission
14. Go on a mission with my husband
15. Go rock climbing
16. Spend an entire day snowboarding (and not have it kick my trash)
17. Explore an underwater cave
18. Parasail
19. Paraglide
20. Swim with dolphins
21. Adopt a child
22. White water raft
23. Go to Bridge Day in West VA
24. Get my Bachelor's
25. Spend an entire day playing in the woods back home (don't judge)
26. Help someone that is oppressed
27. Help combat human trafficking
28. Hike Angel's Landing again (without almost dying)
29. Buy myself something with a diamond in it (just because I can)
30. Be able to change the world, for at least one person
31. Visit some hot pots
32. Scuba dive the crater
33. Zipline through the Amazon (is this even possible?)
34. Find out who my Dad's family is
35. Eat at the Melting Pot (any gentlemen wanna take me out?)
36. Have a romantic rooftop date
37. Meet a celebrity and not lose my mind (possibly the hardest on this list)
38. Bike Moab
39. Ride a bike to work
40. Drive an Aston Martin as fast as I can
41. Buy my own dirtbike (let's make it pink just for kicks and giggles)
42. Restore an old Bronco or Land Cruiser (this needs to be yellow)
43. Eat completely Gluten free for at least a month
44. Go on an archaeological dig
45. Take my mama on a cruise
46. Talk to the hot guy in my science class (just a personal goal so someone holds me accountable)
47. Take charge and kiss someone I'm crushing on (haha gotta find one first, or maybe science class guy? yeah right)
48. Find a cave behind a waterfall (oh come on. this just seems magical doesn't it?)
49. See Garth Brooks in concert
50. Be able to do ten pull ups without assistance (sad that this has to be on here)
51. Star gaze with someone I really like
52. Discuss the meaning of life with friends in a Tuscan vineyard
53. Take a bike ride down Provo Canyon along the Provo River trail (with other people obviously)
54. Bust out in song in a public place and have everyone join in (not a flash mob, i'm talking for reals here people)
55. Live in a foreign country
56. Drive all night to get to someone (Celine Dion fans you know what I'm talking about)
57. Go to Cathedral Beach in Spain
58. Attend an Opera at the Opera house in Sydney
59. Spend a week in the Outerbanks
60. Go watch the wild horses being run from Assateague to Chincoteague Island
61. Visit the Biltmore Estate
62. Learn a foreign language
63. Watch the running of the bulls in Spain
64. Create and attend a book club
65. Spend a day canoeing around a lake
66. Learn how to work on a motorcycle (redneck, I know)
67. Spend an entire Christmas serving other people
68. Take a temple tour and visit every temple from Idaho to Arizona
69. Have a picnic at a waterfall
70. Go up in a hot air balloon
71. Study abroad
72. Find the slot canyon where they drop into the water in 127 hours
73. Go to the speed tests at the salt flats
74. Drive across the country through Denver
75. Take a random roadtrip across the US and see all the weird, off the wall things that make each town famous
76. Stargaze from an Observatory
77. Take a camping trip on horseback
78. Visit the Grand Canyon
79. Go see the pueblos in our very own backyard
80. Write a book
81. Visit all the 7 wonders of the world
82. Go to Mt. Rushmore
83. Have a whirlwind weekend romance (in a foreign country, with a boy with a hot accent preferably)
84. Go on a yacht
85. Explore a used bookstore with no time limit
86. Dance the night away with the locals in a South American country
87. Go surfing
88. Try windsurfing
89. Spend an entire day at the temple
90. Play cops and robbers
91. Take my dad back to Greece (so he can have the gyros he loves so much)
92. Fall in love
93. Read all the classics
94. Sing to my children
95. Learn to play the piano (for real this time)
96. Learn to play the guitar
97. Go to Disney World (sad I know)
98. Go to Sea World (even more sad)
99. Vacation in one of those ice hotels
and last but definitely not least here folks..................
100. Grow old with a man I love more and more every day

ADHD

Clinically speaking, a child with ADHD will invariably become inattentive and hyperactive in an overstimulating environment. Similarly, they will also become inattentive and hyperactive in a low-key, seemingly non-stimulating environment. One might ask why I'm writing this or even care about ADHD since I do not have children of my own. This is true, I do not have children of my own, nor have I had to face the challenge of working with a child with ADHD. I do however, live in Provo UT. The single LDS Mecca if you will. Provo, I have a new diagnosis for you. I am diagnosing all of Provo with Dating ADHD. With roughly 33,000 students each for BYU and UVU, we can cut out approximately a third of those for married people, or students over the age of 35. That still leaves us with around 44,000 eligible young single adults. This is very scientific obviously. This array of people brings about a type of dating overstimulation that basically creates an inattentive and hyperactive dating pool of people. It creates the "well there's something out there better so I'm not going to commit to this one" syndrome. Everyone is always looking for the next best thing. And why not, when there's 44,000 other single hot people to choose from. So what can be done about this strange phenomenon? Well, that is the real question now isn't it. It's one that we all plague ourselves with every day. It's one that our leaders plead with us to rectify, except how can we? Well, to calm a child down with ADHD, you remove them from the overstimulating environment. Well that won't do now will it. None of us are willing nor able to move out of Provo. This is where we work, where we go to school. Do we hole up in our rooms refusing to interact with anyone of the opposite sex. Obviously that is not the answer either. Here's my answer to this strange conundrum. I have no clue. I'd say follow the counsel of our leaders and stop hanging out. Go out on dates. Here's the problem. I like hanging out with guys. I'm not really sure how you get to know someone without hanging out with them. It's a catch-22 I'd say. I do have to agree with our leaders though and say boys, what the heck are you doing? Seriously, most of you have the attention span of a gnat. I blame your dating ADHD. It's not really your fault. There are too many of us gorgeous women out there for you to make any kind of committment to just one of us. Right? That's crap! How about this? Ask a girl out every once in a while. Don't  hang out with an entire apartment to see which one you like the most. We're not stupid and we pick up on those sort of things and quite frankly we don't appreciate it. We don't like feeling like we are competing with the women we live with. It's not healthy. We don't put you and your boys all in a ring and say go at it and the best one gets me as a prize. That's what you're doing to us. Man up. Ask us girls out. I promise we won't expect a Tiffany's ring after the first date. I promise we won't fall in love with you right away. Give us a little more credit than that and realize that most of us are not crazy. We promise to give you the benefit of the doubt if you'll do the same for us.
So let's do away with this dating ADHD and all agree to go out on dates and just be normal people.

Parentals

So it's been quite a while since I've updated this little piece of cyber candy and well I've had something a brewing up in the old cabeza so I figured now is as good a time as any to get it all down on metaphorical paper. I'd like to dedicate this blog post to honor the two wonderful people who gave me life and bring to light the lessons that they have taught me.

Every time I go to the temple without fail I think of my amazing mother. Especially when the lady is playing the organ in the chapel. This past time my roommate commented to me on what a hard job it must be to actually play this instrument with not only a couple sets of keys but foot pedals as well. My darling mother has been playing for as long as I can remember. It's a love that she has that encompasses all aspects of her life. I wish I had this kind of drive to teach myself to play the piano. She has surpassed me in her self discipline and her abilities ten fold. I admire her so much for her talent and to this day she is my favorite person to accompany me. She knows my singing so well and it just works. I miss her every day. My roommate asked me when I was going home if I was going to have my mom play for me so I could sing. I made sure I did that and it made me so happy. Hers is the voice inside my head teaching me every day. When I come to a realization about life and where I'm supposed to be going, it's like one of her teachings is just solidifying up there. It has become a priority of mine to pull back the shower curtain and pick up my towels. It was something she reminded me of daily. Now I understand the importance. Why did it take 26 years? Who knows, I'm a slow learner. When I procrastinate, I just hear her voice in my ear telling me that it's the thief of time. I hear her voice no more as a nagging annoyance but as a constant drive pushing me to be better. Challenging me to be the best me I can be. I understand now my potential because it's something she's seen all along. I will eternally be grateful to the woman who shaped the woman I am becoming. She's the most selfless person I know. I pray to be a fraction of what she is to everyone in her life. An angel.

On to my dear old Dad, Pops, Daddy Warbucks, pick your favorite. The man who taught me how to fish, how to drive, who gave me my sense of humor, who I always knew I could count on. Driving in the car is when I think about my Dad the most. This is the time when he's the voice inside my head. I constantly think as I'm driving, what would my Dad think about the way I'm driving. I realized a couple of times that my driving skills are very different than my friends but that's because he always taught me to look a mile down the road. This lesson has reached far beyond the interstate and I know to plan for the future and not just right now. I attribute the fact that I've never had an accident to this great man. He taught me if you're going to do something, you do it right the first time. You don't half-a it. That's why you buy Sony, Mac, Toyota, or Honda. What's the point of anything else? Could be why I'm a brand snob. When it comes to purchasing, I trust him implicitly. If he thinks it's a good brand and that I should buy it, why would I question it. He's one of the funniest people I know but he can be just as stern when he needs to be. He's got this tough exterior which let's face it, you have to have with four daughters. He turns into a big old softy when he knows your really hurting though. Now that I think about it, I'm almost scared to introduce him to another guy I'm dating because I'm not sure he trusts my judgement anymore after the first husband fiasco.

I hope both of these wonderful people know and realize that I live everyday with the hope that one day they will be proud of me. That through my accomplishments they can feel accomplished. I want to be the daughter that they can brag about and say, yeah my daughter is doing wonderful things. I've learned from my mistakes probably more than anyone can ever know. I live in fear every day that I'll repeat them. That's what makes me hyper sensitive to the fact that I want to change and become better. It's been a harder road than I ever realized and I feel like I've had to claw and dig my way out of the ditches I've gotten myself into. These two wonderful people were there to pull me out in the only way they knew how. The way I needed the most. I'm so grateful to be born to such great parents. Thanks Mom and Dad. Love you both.

A roll is a roll, and a toll is a toll.......

So I have faced some very hard truths about myself today. It has been a glorious day of self-indulgence and self-reflection. Here are the things I've had to face about myself today.

I always have buyers remorse. No matter if I need the item I purchased or not. Also, if you are shopping with me, you will have to constantly help me feel better about said purchase. Sad, I know. Hopefully, it will pay off in the long run though.

Secondly, which is quite possibly the most disturbing of all. Around famous people, or shoot, just people I've watched in a movie, I'm a complete and total idiot. I get all star struck and giggly and really it's embarrassing! Not only for me, but them as well! So, I LOVE the movie Robin Hood Men in Tights. Could possibly be my favorite movie. I'm walking with my lovely roomie Nicole around The Gateway mall today, when I spot Little John below us. He walks into the Lucky Store and I start freaking out. Nicole and I casually walk by and try to catch a peak because she does not believe me. I can't tell you how many times she asked me how sure I was. So we walk away from there and go in a different store and I'm pretty mad at myself for not going up to him. I'm such a chicken! So Nicole decides since I pretty much love this man that we have to meet him. If it really is him. So we go back to the Lucky store and go in. She walks right up to him and asks him if she can ask him an awkward question. To which he replies sure, and she asks if he's an actor. I just stand there and giggle and swoon. I kept trying to quote the movie. I mean really, who does that?!?!?!?!?! I tell him it's one of my favorite movies, he asks our names and shakes our hands but really he's talking to Nicole the whole time, because I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm creepy. He also tells us he was just talking to his friend Matt who played Will Scarlett in the movie. To which I reply, "We're from Georgia". Gosh, seriously, I should be locked away at this point! So we leave the poor man alone to enjoy his shopping. He's here doing a movie. COOL! We did however manage to get a picture with him before we left. Bless Nicole's heart. Best roomie ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

Universal Truths

So, I have come up with some universal truths lately that should have probably taken me a lot less time than 26 years to figure out. Oh well.

1. If you never put anything on your floor than the floor will not accumulate all your crap. For a week I lived by the rule that nothing could be put on the floor that didn't belong there. For example, laundry. I kept my room clean for a whole week!  It took one day to destroy my new found glory when I had to rush and get ready for a weekend away and did laundry in a hurry. Never fear though my friends, after this week of blissful cleanliness, I couldn't stand my room with stuff on the floor so I immediately cleaned it. Habit successfully formed!!!!!!!!!

2. Putting off paying for stuff makes you spend more in the long run. I'm not a penny pincher although I probably should be. However, I don't like to spend money on anything really. Unless I can eat it. Unfortunately, I hate spending more than $20 at a time, so sometimes grocery shopping has seemed like an expensive endeavor. But, I have come to the realization that if I spend more money on groceries than I won't spend as much on going out to eat. This habit is taking a little more time to develop since I love going out to eat. Also I put off buying essentials like lotion, shampoo, make-up until it is absolutely necessary to buy them. I therefore, end up buying them all at the same time which puts a cramp in that weeks pay. No bueno. Had I not been a tight-wad all along it wouldn't have been a problem.

3. I'm only as happy and social as I want to be. I've always considered myself a social butterfly but lately I've been content to just staying in and doing whatever comes to mind with my roomies or with my fam. While these are both good options, they might not be best. I tend to get re-energized by people and therefore have missed that rejuvenation. Also apparently people think we are a clique. Whatever the heck that means. Really people, I'm just sitting in my apartment waiting for you  to come play with me. I know that's not how it works but I'm hoping that one day it will. :)

4. I can literally do anything I set my mind to if I'm willing to do the work to get there. I used to not actually believe this one. Sadly. It just hit me recently though. Pretty cool if you think about it.

I'm sure there are loads of others I've learned. These are just a few of them. Enjoy!

Life Plan

Soooo, every once in a while I come up with a new life plan. I've had a lot of different ones in my lifetime but now I feel like is the time to actually pursue one. I'm starting school again in April which is a huge and scary step for me. I just have to keep my eye on the prize which is actually moving forward in life. I've played around with a couple of different majors in my college career. Now I feel like I actually know what I want to do with life. I've always wanted to travel the world, even though traveling gives me somewhat of anxiety. We're just going to ignore it and it will go away right? : /

So here's the newest Danielle life plan. Obviously, finish college is the natural first step of the life plan. My decision about what to do springboards the rest of the life plan though. So that's semi-scary. I've always liked Anthropology and I'm still leaning towards that, but I'm also looking into International Relations. I want to meet the people of this world. I want to help them out, I want to find out what makes them tick. I also want to serve my country in any way possible. I think I'll go to Law school after my undergrad and maybe study international law. I would love to work in the Government and maybe even the FBI. I know, I know, I should probably stop watching Criminal Minds. Just hear me out though....

I think I definitely want to go to law school. It just is the best option for getting the most out of my education. I also want to study languages, right now I'm leaning towards Arabic. Which let's be honest, this day and age is going to make me super useful to the Government. I'm down with that. I don't know why, there is just something that intrigues me about law enforcement and something that pulls me that way. Whether that be in a courtroom, or out in the field, I don't know. Maybe it's because I am my Father's daughter and it's in my blood. Military family with two military police officers is bound to rub off on someone right? We'll well see where the wind takes me. All I know is either way and whichever direction I take, I want it to be overseas. I just feel a pull and I gotta go with it right?

Goals

So I have a lot of these. Unfortunately, I'm terrible at not only goal setting but also goal achieving. For instance, I have a goal to go to bed early and get up early. It is now 12:33 AM and I am blogging. I guess you could say I'm achieving my goal of blogging more........
I did however accomplish one goal today. I learned how to curl my hair!!! Be excited people! I will therefore be dressing my head up with all sorts of fancy curls. One might ask how a girl gets to be 26 years old and cannot curl her own hair. Well I simply blame the two older sisters I have. It was clearly their duty to teach us younger siblings how to tame the wild tresses. Unfortunately, my sisters grew up in the 80's, which led to learning how to curl only my giant bangs (not pretty). I think I was the first one in my family to own a straightener, a great crime. This also goes along with my goal to be more feminine. I need to better about dressing up, accessorizing, decorating, and just good old fashioned girlying it up. I'm not girly by nature, so this presents a challenge. Clearly, since it took me 26 years to figure out how to curl my hair properly. Sad. I have all these visions in my head of how I want to dress, fix my hair, and decorate my room, it just doesn't translate to real life well.
Therefore, another goal is born. Learn how to take the things in my head and put them into real life. We'll see how this goes.